The title to this post is in reference to something that was shared with the families during our visit to the MTC yesterday. More about that later....
President Pratt Alan Colton(dad) Elder Jordan Colton John Hendrix(Papa)Jordan was set apart Tuesday night, by President Pratt. He is being released in 2 weeks at Stake Conference, so Jordan was his last Elder to send out. Jordan was honored-you know what they say-last the best of all the game! His blessing was very nice, Alan and Papa were able to assist. Jordan was nervous, but a feeling of calm came over him, and he said later it was almost like he could feel all of the prayers of everyone covering him with strength.
Jordan, true to his nature has had suitcases packed and organized well ahead of time, like 2 weeks ago. I was relieved that we didn't have any last minute scrambling to do yesterday. All we had to do is put them in the van.
One last check of the list and suitcases
We got to the MTC around 11:30, his scheduled time to enter. Matt and Courtney, and Paul and Mary Ann were waiting for us. We took pictures in the sunny spring weather. It was fun to see all of the missionaries and their families coming into the building. You could sense that anticipation of what was just around the corner and through the doorway.
We were able to watch Jordan go into the "new missionary" door. We waited in the lobby as Alan pinned on Jordan's name badge(I let him have that honor, because I had cried enough previously). We took more pictures, and then went down the hallway to the chapel. We sat on the second row, the closest we had ever been in there. In the past we had always near the back. We watched the Family-Its about time...commercials that the Church produces. It helped to ease that feeling of dread when we would be saying goodbye. The program began with singing "Called to Serve"-I had told myself "I will not cry, I will not cry during this song" because if I started I wouldn't stop. I gulped out a few words and then had to take a breath to get my composure back. Then the prayer was said, and the talks began. The MTC president said "if you pull a band aid off quickly, it won't hurt so bad. So make your good bye quick". Soon the talks and closing prayer were said. Emotions were running high in the room. The other mothers around me started crying, and that did me in, my tears were falling too. Jordan hugged Papa goodbye first, and then went on down the row giving hugs and "I love you's" to everyone. He hugged me last, I took in one more breath of his essence(he always smells so good) and kissed his cheek and said "Go, its your time". He didn't look back and walked out the "Missionary" door. We sniffled out the "Family" door and into the bright sunshine. We decided to not go home right away. We were hungry so we went to our favorite El Azteca for chimis and Carne Asada nachos.
Brynley started asking where Jordan was, the concept of him being on a mission will be hard for her to totally understand. I blinked back some tears on that one. We ate and then went home, I was so drained, I took a little nap. We all were kind of shell shocked that he really was gone. Later on around 9 pm, Christian had come home from Colby's and shut the front door. This was the usual time that Jordan would come home from work. Brynley heard the door and said " Jordy's home!!!" I had to say "not yet, he is on his mission." We had family prayer later on, and she didn't want to start without him. When we got home from school today, his truck is still in the driveway and she got all excited and said "Jordy's back!!" Its going to take a few weeks for both she and I to remember he's not here when we see his truck.
We sent off a young man; and a man will return who will never really be all mine again. That's the hardest part, knowing that life must go on despite the fact that a part of me doesn't want it to. I think that it just part of being a mom to feel like this. I am excited for the growth he will have in ways he wouldn't have if he didn't get to serve. He has waited so long for this, and many miracles happened for him to go. I have the trust in Heavenly Father to let him go.
This is bittersweet:[adj. bit-er-sweet, bit-er-sweet; n. bit-er-sweet]both pleasant and painful or regretful: a bittersweet memory.
ərˈswit, 
